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Why?
Why was I cursed with these size C tumors on my chest?
Why do I have this silly curve at my waist?
Why do my friends and family refer to me with ugly names like "her" and "she"?
Why is there an empty space between my legs?
Why can people tell me "You're a really ugly girl"?
Why won't people call me "A nice guy"?
Why don't my parents love me for who I am?
Why have my friends left me because I'm in the wrong body?
Why am I abused at school?
Why did that boy on my bus try to rape me?
Why don't I want sex?
Why have I never truly considered someone "Hot" or "Sexy"?
Why can I love someone without being attracted to them?
Why does no one care about me?
Why can't I trust anyone except my closest friend?
Why do my male friends say "If only you were a boy"?
Why do I hate myself?
Why must I wait seven years to change myself?
Why am I...... a girl..?

My name is Kameryn Theresa Pratt, and I am an asexual female to male transgender.
.....

Everything in this piece of work is true. All of it happened to me, and all I dare to ask is why. I know I am a boy. I have found a very small group of friends willing to accept me. My closest friens are: Ashleigh Armstrong, Julianna Harrison, Kristina Boynton, Elizabeth Miner, and Christian Hope Willis. I have to say thank you to them for staying by my side no matter what happens. Those 5 care about me more than my parents.

About abo from my bus trying to rape me, he did try to rape me. I met with him at a park and he kept grabbing my breasts and saying things like "Why don't you wanna have sex with me?! I know you're asexual, but you won't be once I'm up iside you!" Once he said "I'll make you feel like the luckiest woman on earth," I nearly ran away crying... Things like the thought of sex, being stuck as a girl, and not being able to be who I am terrify me; yet I have to live with those thoughts every day. I don't understand why I can't have just been born the boy I am inside.

EDIT: This has already gotten so much traffic, and is was only posted about 30 minutes ago. I just want you guys to know that I read every comment, and I see every fave. Thanks to those who have commented and faved this! I really appreciate it.
EDIT 2: This hasn't even been submitted for a full day, yet it already has 60 comments and 44 faves! I've been replying to as many comments as I can, and I am startled by the overwhelming support. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
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:icongaaragotic13:
gaaragotic13 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dude! i know you're just expressing yourself but damn even i can tell that was art ;D but remember we are like a family here so cheer up and screw with society if they can't understand that.
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:iconcreativechica39:
CreativeChica39 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi again, I just want to say that even though I have never gone through any of these experiences, I try to put myself in your shoes and feel your pain. When I do it's so hard to deal with, and I know that what I'm trying to emulate is nowhere near what you're feeling. So please, keep strong and people will begin to accept you, or at least tolerate you.
All the best,
Blinne ^.^
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
I wish I could thank you better, but the English language doesn't hold the words *Is stereotypically Finnish*. :heart:
Reply
:iconcreativechica39:
CreativeChica39 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
S'ok! :icontighthug:
I've always wanted to learn Finnish though! I plan on becoming a translator when I grow up and my plan is to learn at least one language from every region. ^.^
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
Finnish is very very different from English. It wasn't as difficult for me because I learned Finnish, Norwegian, and English at very young ages. It's really cool that you want to learn all those languages!
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:iconcreativechica39:
CreativeChica39 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! And sadly, the U.S is stupid and decided to start teaching us a second language in the 7th grade when it should start in the 2nd grade if they wants us so badly to be proficient and to catch up with the rest of the world.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
Yeah... Where I live, they only offer Spanish and Japanese. I really with they offered Russian so I could be fluent in it by now... (If you want to learn a language from eastern Europe, Russian's your best bet. It's accepted in Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Romania, and Transnistria.
Reply
:iconcreativechica39:
CreativeChica39 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
We're offered Spanish, French, and German but the teachers are terrible and don't care at all so we don't really learn the language. They used to teach Latin but they dropped five years ago. I'd love to learn Russian though. ^.^
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
Russian is really pretty and I have family from there that I can't communicate with so...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmisterya555:
misteryA555 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
Its like you read my mind
I feel so terrible everyday
I can never be free
Not for years from now
And all I can say is
Why?
Reply
:iconemocutie1997:
EmoCutie1997 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, let me share with you my story...
I'm a girl who was an ex druggie, now i'm back due to some things going on.
I have a disease called Lupus
I'm an emotional cutter
I have two older cousin, who one lived with us now married
and the other still does.
The one that left, lost her baby a year ago.
My ex-boyfriends, both raped me
And i'm only 14.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
I feel so bad for you... Though it may take a while, I promise you, things will get better. You're still young and all you have to do is make a future for yourself. :heart:
Reply
:iconemocutie1997:
EmoCutie1997 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, you do the same. :)
I'm hanging in there, i really am
some days just seem impossible.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
I know the feeling. You're such a strong person for being able to deal with this. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise?
Reply
:iconemocutie1997:
EmoCutie1997 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I try not too, but it hard walking through school some days.
Being know as the girl who the druggie, the girl who slept with Austin, Matt's girl. It's hard, cause i'm that those people, i'm not those names. I'm me, totally and completely me. And now i'm the girl who can't face the truth, cause Matt, hit me and had sex with against my will, i mean he was drunk but now he can't come near me and all that. It's just, i need a break.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
I feel the same.
Reply
:icondancewithoutyou:
DanceWithoutYou Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Friends are the family you choose for yourself, I'm glad you've found one. Keep being strong, I've realised you're one of those people who deserves to get a happy ending.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
Thank you. :)
Reply
:icondoodledaydream:
DoodleDayDream Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i cant say i can relate to this, but you must be very brave to share this with everyone, if only more people were accepting...im glad you have friends that are there for you
Reply
:iconstarlightsiren:
Starlightsiren Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Very raw and emotional; a riveting assessment of your state.
But I want to say, try not to hate yourself. Because your Self is the amazing, brave person who wrote this bluntly honest statement. And, in seven years, you'll have the ability to shape yourself, physically, how you already know you are inside.
It's wonderful that you have such a supportive family in your friends, and that you realize it. I know it doesn't mean so much coming from a stranger, but I feel proud that you make such a solid, confident statement about yourself. Hang in there, and good luck!
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
It actually does mean a lot. Thanks so much for the support! :)
Reply
:iconmadd0hatter:
Madd0Hatter Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
:) Remember you may have friends close, you also have people....even when you don't know them, love you because you're you and alive. <3 <3 <3 Keep on living, keep on looking at the good and never let anyone or anything get you down. You're strong, and loved. I soooooooooooooo want to give you a great big hug right now -_______-;;;;; <333333333333333333333333333
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
If you could give me a hug, I'd definately hug you back! Thanks so much for the comment. :)
Reply
:iconavatarfreak1120:
Avatarfreak1120 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student Artist
Now you know that I am not transgendered, but still. I can relate to a lot of the things you said.
I will give you my undying support in this and all other situations, as I have been, and as I always will.
With this, I can honestly say that this is the biggest decision I've seen you make in the past few months (and the few days in first grade) that I've known you, but that still won't change my feelings upon giving you the support you may or may not need for this, but knowing you, you may be strong enough to go through this on your own.
I know the kids at school may tease you, annoy you, and do all those other things to you, but you got to remember something. They don't understand what you've been going through. The few who do know how this feels, don't know that you're going through it, but I'm sure that if you could find them, and they could know, they would give you the support just like Ashler, Julianna, Lizzie, Christian, and I are right now. I myself know exactly what you're going through, and I know how hard it can be without any support (as when I was through this, not even Missy, who's tightly by my side today turned her back on me). That horrible feeling took years to get over, and keeping it a secret from the world was making it only tougher. But with you... I'm quite happy that you can have the strength to tell the world (or at least DA and DeWitt) that you can do this, and that you can do it headstrong.
I mean, look at all the people giving you support here. People that you don't even know can give their support and best wishes to you and make it mean so much. People that you don't even know are going through the same thing you are and aren't afraid to show it, like you have always been. Not many people can have the courage to do the actions you have taken to show this, but seeing you do this... It's amazing.
I know this may not mean much coming from a girl a year younger than you, but I am so proud of you. I look up to you both physically and mentally.
Being able to tell the world about this and knowing the exact pain you're going through... it shows me a bravery that I have never seen before.

Don't let anyone change these amazing thoughts of yours.

Stay strong dude.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Reading this comment literally made me cry. Just know that it means so much to hear you say (or type, rather) something like that. The reasons why it means so much are: 1) You're the only person I've been able to hold a steady friendship with in years. 2) I was scared to death that you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore once you saw this. You are the most accepting person I've ever known and I feel really lucky to have you as a friend. :heart:
Reply
:iconavatarfreak1120:
Avatarfreak1120 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student Artist
Dude, I would never turn my back on you, even when it comes to something like this. Just remember that there are people out there that know that exact feeling, and that they're not afraid to show it and support others like them. Never think that you're alone on this, as I know that you never were. Good luck on this, and I give you and everyone else going through this my undying support.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
I really do feel lucky to have you here for me. I will now give you what is probably the worst compliment ever: You are the Denmark to my Norway.
Reply
:iconavatarfreak1120:
Avatarfreak1120 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student Artist
^_^
Reply
:iconchewedcrayons:
chewedcrayons Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Funny seeing this here. I'm asexual and biologically female, but I've been hating myself over it recently. I've been dating and leaving girls before we get intimate to hide it all. I don't even know how long I can keep this up... Or even why I have to. I hate this.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Don't worry. Things will get better. All you have to do is find people who accept you for who you are. I know I accept you. :)
Reply
:iconchewedcrayons:
chewedcrayons Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Thank you. :) It really helps.
Reply
:iconpenis-jam:
Penis-Jam Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student General Artist
I love this <83... Very emotional... :hug:
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:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
:) Thanks.
Reply
:iconpenis-jam:
Penis-Jam Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student General Artist
your very welcome >w<
Reply
:iconchucknorrispenguin:
ChuckNorrisPenguin Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
D:
I accept you for who you are.
I dont prefer being a girl either.
Im ashamed of my bodeh...
Thats kinda why im mean to guys. For judging me.... being me. WHY D:
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
It's nice to know that someone is going through sort of the same thing as me. :)
Reply
:iconchucknorrispenguin:
ChuckNorrisPenguin Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Me too...
its been rough this week, too.
That problem, and my buddy died.
and then it got worse. D:
I wanna be accepted. MERRRRRR. :]
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
I know how it feels to want to be accepted.
Reply
:iconchucknorrispenguin:
ChuckNorrisPenguin Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
I know you know :3 and it feels good having someone just like me out there. so, thank you for being here :D
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
No problem. It really does feel nice having someone to relate to.
Reply
:iconchucknorrispenguin:
ChuckNorrisPenguin Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012
I know it does :D
It kinda makes me a little more proud of living though in a way, and its kinda bittersweet [:
Reply
:iconpepamint:
Pepamint Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
I can somewhat relate...

I'm biologically female, but want to be both male and female. I feel like dying when someone refers to me as "she" and "her" when I'm trying my hardest to look and act like a boy. I feel like I'm half in the wrong body half in the right.

:hug: Be proud of who you are dear.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Thanks so much for the support. :)
Reply
:iconmissstar489:
MissStar489 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Why is it that people on the internet are more accepting than the people in your own naborhood?!
People are so stupid and ignorant!
Good luck with who you are man, good luck.
Reply
:iconthemistressofanime:
TheMistressOfAnime Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
I think Internet people are more accepting because they come from all over and some of them can relate to certain things more closely than people in the person's area. Thanks for wishing me luck. :)
Reply
:iconmissstar489:
MissStar489 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Good point.
and NP =D
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:iconexaltedpoet:
ExaltedPoet Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Quite honestly there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. As for that boy he should've been arrested. As for your parents the only thing that I can say they are from the old generation they aren't prepared for whats going on currently since society itself is slowly adapting to what is going on and they choose to accept it or not. I am a parent myself to a young toddler I might have to face the same issue if my child says they think they are in the wrong body.

I will support her and my future children just like a friend of mine that had to deal with issues that he was born a girl and slowly changed to what he is today (by using hormones medicine to make your body change to what it should be and changed their name while his parents are still mad about it). When you are 18 (since I don't know how old you are now) your parents can't say shit about it. You will be of legal age to make your own decisions. I honestly don't know how you came to the conclusion of where you think you should be a boy, I really don't know because of biology is a complicated subject, the only thing that I can understand from it is that hormones have to balance. Also I don't think your parents hate you they're probably just thinking from the time they first held you and never thought of what could happen.

Myself I act like a boy at times even though I am young woman in everyday life. I hate being a girly girl. Even my friends ask if I'm really a girl. Do I think I should be in a man's body no its because I'm me and thats all to it. Guys have cooler clothes anyways lol. I feel like I'm in the wrong race.

Good luck to your future ^_^
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